Love me, Love my Docs!!

12314000_10153357909047635_1769174824528293908_nOk this week’s post has nothing to do with Law of Attraction or colour, it is simply about being you, being your authentic self.

I have been divorced for 7 years, and of course would love to be in relationship (I am a Libra after all!) and so relationships and men are part of my life, and to be in a couple is on my dreamboard, but finding the right one isn’t so easy as when we’re a teenager!!

I have just come out of a relationship. There was no bitterness, and have gained a friendship. After the end of a relationship I like to look back and see exactly in what way have I grown, what have I learnt? People come into our lives for a reason, to teach us something. I went through an intense couple of years with men recently and 3 of them, despite being intense relationships all had jealousy running through them. One was highly jealous, and paranoid of any contact I had. After, a relationship with someone who was almost narcissist, in love with himself (but I could so easily how much he really didn’t like himself, I could feel his sadness) brought up a lot of jealousy in me and I saw that the first one was acting as a mirror of what was within me to be healed. I though it to be a lack of confidence but through having some coaching sessions I realized it was a fear of abandonment that was coming up which  I have worked through and learning to let go of.

The third relationship was a much calmer one but he really taught me to be myself. With him I found my style, I found ME. I found my Doc Martens! These Docs are in fact a symbol of much more. I had always loved Docs, never owned a pair, but never bought or wore any as I thought men wouldn’t find me attractive in them…I began to dress as men like (whilst also dressing for me of course), but I never let out my crazy British self, the arty side of me. So I it came to be that of course I was attracting the wrong type of men who were all great people of course but didn’t fit the inner me. I was trying to fit into an image of what men would like. I was not living my truth.

And so this person said how much he loved doc Martens on a girl and it opened up so much for me. My inner punk/hippy girl came up! I bought myself a pair of second hand docs and painted them! I wanted to be different, to catch people’s eye (I live in France btw so this is even funnier as painted docs on a girl is a rarity over here!!). I felt FAB! I felt me, quirky, fun and without a care in the world. I wore them to my teaching job- and my boss loved them!

Then I watched 2 videos this week on You Tube, one about the Lunar Eclipse called “Do you love me?” which really hit it home what was happening.

Then Andrew Marten’s video which hit home even further on WHY I had always tried to please others.

The 2 videos were so powerful and I knew that the lessons I had learnt were right, I was on the right track and listening to my inner voice.

So this is really about living who you are.  I will find the person who loves me for ME, for my hippy punky side. Looking back I wondered why I hadn’t lived my truth before but then I was just aiming to please. Now it’s about ME! I really don’t care if someone doesn’t like me or my docs, because they are not the person for me, simply, I have the whole world out there!

So go out there, be YOU and don’t give a HOOT for others, the people who love you will find you!




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