Ok this week’s post has nothing to do with Law of Attraction or colour, it is simply about being you, being your authentic self.
I have been divorced for 7 years, and of course would love to be in relationship (I am a Libra after all!) and so relationships and men are part of my life, and to be in a couple is on my dreamboard, but finding the right one isn’t so easy as when we’re a teenager!!
I have just come out of a relationship. There was no bitterness, and have gained a friendship. After the end of a relationship I like to look back and see exactly in what way have I grown, what have I learnt? People come into our lives for a reason, to teach us something. I went through an intense couple of years with men recently and 3 of them, despite being intense relationships all had jealousy running through them. One was highly jealous, and paranoid of any contact I had. After, a relationship with someone who was almost narcissist, in love with himself (but I could so easily how much he really didn’t like himself, I could feel his sadness) brought up a lot of jealousy in me and I saw that the first one was acting as a mirror of what was within me to be healed. I though it to be a lack of confidence but through having some coaching sessions I realized it was a fear of abandonment that was coming up which I have worked through and learning to let go of.
The third relationship was a much calmer one but he really taught me to be myself. With him I found my style, I found ME. I found my Doc Martens! These Docs are in fact a symbol of much more. I had always loved Docs, never owned a pair, but never bought or wore any as I thought men wouldn’t find me attractive in them…I began to dress as men like (whilst also dressing for me of course), but I never let out my crazy British self, the arty side of me. So I it came to be that of course I was attracting the wrong type of men who were all great people of course but didn’t fit the inner me. I was trying to fit into an image of what men would like. I was not living my truth.
And so this person said how much he loved doc Martens on a girl and it opened up so much for me. My inner punk/hippy girl came up! I bought myself a pair of second hand docs and painted them! I wanted to be different, to catch people’s eye (I live in France btw so this is even funnier as painted docs on a girl is a rarity over here!!). I felt FAB! I felt me, quirky, fun and without a care in the world. I wore them to my teaching job- and my boss loved them!
Then I watched 2 videos this week on You Tube, one about the Lunar Eclipse called “Do you love me?” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yyThyCzxI-g&feature=em-uploademail which really hit it home what was happening.
Then Andrew Marten’s video which hit home even further on WHY I had always tried to please others. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGtrGmaLPw0
The 2 videos were so powerful and I knew that the lessons I had learnt were right, I was on the right track and listening to my inner voice.
So this is really about living who you are. I will find the person who loves me for ME, for my hippy punky side. Looking back I wondered why I hadn’t lived my truth before but then I was just aiming to please. Now it’s about ME! I really don’t care if someone doesn’t like me or my docs, because they are not the person for me, simply, I have the whole world out there!
So go out there, be YOU and don’t give a HOOT for others, the people who love you will find you!